The history of humanity told by topless men: Mr Darcy's wet shirt started it all

The news of the shirt being exhibited in a museum reminds us that many historical dramas have been liberally garnished with shirtless men

It’s not often that a man with his top on becomes a sex symbol, but that is precisely what happened to Colin Firth when he climbed out of a pond with his white shirt clinging to his manly chest in the BBC’s 1995 adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. The shirt is so famous that it is going to be a part of an exhibit starting in August at the Folger Shakespeare Library in Washington, DC, about the similarities between Shakespeare and Jane Austen, the Regency’s most famous novelist.

But why should we let our historical and literary tour of European history begin and end at 1813? There is a whole host of things we can learn from the pectoral and abdominal muscles of TV’s hottest men across time. Here, we imagine how a whole museum show might look if made up from the many shirtless scenes in costume dramas.

First, let us return to 30 BC, when Marc Antony taught us all about the Roman occupation of Egypt, and how to look amazing while not wearing any armor at all. Thanks, Rome.

Now let us get into our studly time machine and venture to Norway in the 8th century and check in with the Vikings, where we learn that this race of warriors is covered in tattoos, scars and manicured chest hair. Given that they live so close to the Arctic, you would think they might invest in more clothing. You would be wrong.

It’s time to spy on a young Henry VIII, the 16th century’s biggest playboy. Not only did he have many wives and no sons during the Tudors’ dynasty, but he also made those weird puffy pants look a whole lot better when he wasn’t wearing his frilly collar and billowing shirt.

Around the same time the Borgias were in control of the Vatican. While we don’t have any footage of the pope and his ilk in their skivvies, let this young lad teach you about the unusual bathing habits that were prevalent at the time.

While excavating history it’s important to look not just at the kings and rulers, but also the common people. Here is the wonderful Poldark exhibiting some of the agricultural techniques that were popularized in the 18th century.

Since we’re speaking about the downtrodden of those times, take a look at Jamie Frazier, a Scottish clansman from 1743 who fell in love with an Outlander. He also felt the whip of his English overlords before the Battle of Culloden ended the nascent Jacobite uprising.

Skipping forward a mere 200 years, in the Cambridgeshire village of Grantchester during the 1950s we learn that bathing costumes, at least among the rural clergy and their policeman best friends, are a lot skimpier than the shirt and undergarments we saw Mr Darcy wear more than 100 years earlier.

Over in urban areas, thanks to Call the Midwife we see an example of the act of cottaging, the practice where men could find anonymous sex with one another in the public toilets of London from the 1950s and beyond.

So there you go: 2,000 years of human history and a whole lot of pecs. And to think your mother always taught you that television would rot your brain.

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